MAD #417 — May 2002

"Why is it that when someone's fighting to get in the last word, it's never 'sorry'?" — Alfred E. Neuman

Contents

• Contents Page
  1
• Letters and Tomatoes Dept.

  Notes

  • Plug for MAD T-shirts, The MAD Student Survival Guide and reissue of Inside MAD paperback; photo of Kelli Williams with #394; reader valentine submissions after #414 request
  • Pull My Cheney — customers who tried to steal shopping carts — Tom Cheney sample
  2–4
• Drawn-Out Dramas

  Marginal Thinking Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  (various places around the magazine) summary
• MAD's Ecchbay Item of the Month — Paula Poundstone's Necktie

  All Bidding Aside Dept.

  Written by Scott Maiko / Art by Scott Bricher
  6
• A Booty-Full Mind (movie satire)

  Crowe Figure Dept.

  Written by Dick DeBartolo / Art by Angelo Torres

  Reprinted in 4 collections

  • MAD About the Oscars — 2004
  • MAD Classics #18 — October 2007
  • MAD About the Movies — Director's Cut — 2008
  • MAD Presents Oscar Winners (and Losers!) — Special Collector's Edition 2016
  7–11
• Unconscious Racists...

  Snide and Prejudice Dept.

  Written by Butch D'Ambrosio / Art by Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 5 collections

  • MAD Art — 2002 (excerpt)
  • MAD Classics #16 — July 2007
  • Totally MAD — 2012
  • The Best of the Worst! — Special Collector's Edition 2012
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  12–13
• 10 Once Loyal Baseball Fans

  Take Me Out of the Ball Game Dept.

  Written by Frank Jacobs / Art by Paul Coker, Jr.

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Classics #23 — October 2008
  • MAD's Greatest Writers — Frank Jacobs — 2015
  14–16
• MAD's Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds: James Lipton

  Grieving Las Vegas Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Hermann Mejia

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Totally MAD — 2012
  • Totally Inside MAD — 2016
  18
• Haiku Study Guides

  Poem Schooling Dept.

  Written by Andrew J. Schwartzberg / Art by Gary Hallgren

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Art — 2002 (excerpt)
  • MAD Classics #14 — April 2007
  20–21
• A MAD Look at Taxis

  Serge-In General Dept.

  Sergio Aragones
  22–25
• Spy vs. Spy — miniature tooth-bomb

  Joke and Dagger Dept.

  Peter Kuper

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • Spy Vs. Spy 2 — The Joke and Dagger Files — 2007
  • Spy vs. Spy — The Top Secret Files — 2011
  26–27
• The Lighter Side of...

  Berg's-Eye View Dept.

  Dave Berg / Color by Digital Chameleon

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Art — 2002 (excerpt)
  29–32
• MAD's Handicapping Guide to the Kentucky Derby Freak Show

  Parlaying It on the Line Dept.

  John Caldwell
  34–35
• Britney Spears' & Justin Timberlake's Family Photo Album

  Kin Sync Dept.

  Written by Mike Snider / Art by Hermann Mejia

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD Classics #19 — November 2007
  37–41
• MAD's Credit Card Bill Return Envelope

  The Dreck is in the Mail Dept.

  Written by Darren Johnson
  42
• Monroe and... Babysitting — Part Two

  Angster's Paradise Dept.

  Written by Anthony Barbieri / Art by Bill Wray
  43–45
• Duck Droppings — The Bible

  Holy Jokes! Dept.

  Don (Duck) Edwing
  46
• The Royal Paininthebums (movie satire)

  The Dysfunctional Family Circus Dept.

  Written by Arnie Kogen / Art by Tom Richmond

  Reprinted in 1 collection

  • MAD #46 — December 2025
  47–51
• Fold-In — What one group above all others is President Bush intent on protecting?

  Al Jaffee

  Reprinted in 2 collections

  • MAD Classics #20 — January 2008
  • The MAD Fold-In Collection 1964–2010 — 2011
  C3