Doug Gilford
Doug Gilford's MAD Cover Site

MAD Magazine Recurring Features

Alfred's Poor Almanac

in Order of Appearance in Regular Issues

MAD's play on Benjamin Franklin's Poor Richard's Almanack

Example Entry Issue / Date
"January 2 — Axolotl season begins. Pickle them now, while they are at peak flavor!" 69 — Mar 1962
"February 22 — Washington tells Gilbert Stuart to leave the portrait unfinished." 70 — Apr 1962
"May 8 — Mickey Bitsko invents 'The Coffee Break,' and is immediately fired, 1891." 71 — Jun 1962
"May 13 — Mother's Day; give Mom the greatest gift of all today — your absence!" 72 — Jul 1962
"July 2 — Due to unpaid taxes, Italian officials put lien on Tower of Pisa, 1902." 73 — Sep 1962
"August 31 — Soviet Union claims invention of the Edsel, 1957." 74 — Oct 1962
"October 13 — Sen. John Bulch dislocates kneecap, is summoned before special Congressional Joint Committee, 1946." 75 — Dec 1962
"December 11 — U.S. Mint at Philadelphia opens new wing, claiming extra facilities will provide better quarters, 1911." 76 — Jan 1963
"June 18 — Banks that advertise quick loan service usually have your interest at heart." 168 — Jul 1974
"July 9 — O.J. Simpson's birthday. Team offers to throw a party if owner will pay the Bills." 169 — Sep 1974
"September 5 — Raquel Welch's birthday. Which may explain why today is a total bust." 170 — Oct 1974
"November 3 — Undertaker Irving Pabst enters National Casket Contest, wins blue ribbon for his bier, 1905." 171 — Dec 1974
"January 1 — The Bad News is: tomorrow MAD #173 goes on sale. The Good News is: this is the last Poor Alfred's Almanac." 172 — Jan 1975